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Very sadly, some babies are lost during pregnancy, birth, or shortly afterwards. Whatever the circumstances, your feelings are valid and we are here to listen, support and care for you.
Bereavement Support Midwives
There are bereavement support midwives that work across Grampian and are linked to the dedicated bereavement suites at Aberdeen Maternity Hospital and Dr Gray’s. They are experienced midwives with expert knowledge around bereavement care who are able to support women, birthing people and their families with pregnancy loss at any gestation.
Contact us gram.bereavementsupportmaternity@nhs.scot
Types of Pregnancy and Baby Loss
There are a number of ways baby loss can occur. Below we have shared information and support links specific to type of baby loss, to help you navigate the information more easily. There are further resources and support groups towards the bottom of this page that may also be relevant to you.
Miscarriage
Miscarriage is the loss of a baby before 24 weeks of pregnancy.
Miscarriage information and support | Tommy’s (tommys.org)
Molar Pregnancy
A molar pregnancy happens when there is too much or too little genetic material in a fertilised egg and a baby can’t develop.
Molar Pregnancy: Definition, Types, Symptoms & Risk Factors (tommys.org)
Molar pregnancy – The Miscarriage Association
Molar pregnancy – NHS (www.nhs.uk)
Ectopic pregnancy
An ectopic pregnancy happens when a fertilised egg implants outside the womb (usually the fallopian tube).
Ectopic Pregnancy: Signs, Treatment and Support (tommys.org)
Ectopic pregnancy – The Miscarriage Association
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust – Support For You And Your Loved Ones
Termination a pregnancy for medical reasons (TFMR)
Some people prefer to call it ‘baby loss for medical reasons’. You may be offered a termination for medical reasons (TFMR) if tests show that your baby is not developing as expected. This may be due to a serious genetic or structural condition. You may also be offered a TFMR if you have pregnancy complications that risk your life or to your baby’s life.
Terminating a Pregnancy for Medical Reasons (TFMR) | Tommy’s (tommys.org)
Stillbirth
A stillbirth is when a baby dies before or during labour after 24 completed weeks of pregnancy.
Stillbirth | Tommy’s (tommys.org)
Re-registration of Birth or Stillbirth | National Records of Scotland (nrscotland.gov.uk)
Planning a funeral – Baby loss series – BLAW 2018 (youtube.com)
Neonatal Death
A neonatal death is when a baby dies within 28 days after they are born.
Neonatal death information and support | Tommy’s (tommys.org)
Sudden unexpected death in infancy (SUDI)
Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) – NHS (www.nhs.uk)
Leaflets
These leaflets Downloadable Miscarriage Leaflets – The Miscarriage Association provide information on miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy and molar pregnancy, as well as information for partners, how to talk to children about miscarriage, miscarriage and the workplace, pregnancy after loss and more.
MISS Support Packs
Support packs can be requested from MISS and include several self-care and therapeutic items. These can be posted to you and at no cost.
SANDS bereavement support book
Sands Bereavement Support Book | Sands – Saving babies’ lives. Supporting bereaved families.
(Available in English, Arabic, Bengali, French, Polish, Portuguese, Punjabi, Romanian, Urdu, Ukrainian, Chinese and Welsh languages)
Bereavement Spaces
Bereavement suite at Rubislaw ward, Aberdeen Maternity Hospital
Rubislaw garden provides a quiet, outdoor space for families to use while visiting the ward
The Forget Me Not suite, ward 3, Dr Gray’s Hospital, Elgin
Marking Your Loss and Making Memories
The staff will aim to offer all women and their partner information about possible options for marking their loss or creating memories, while respecting that not everyone will want this. These may include, for example; a scan photo, a memory box, photographs, certificate and hand and footprints.
Memory Boxes
Memorial Tree
There is a copper memorial tree in the chapel at Aberdeen Maternity Hospital. Families can request an engraved heart shaped leaf to hang on the tree. If you would like your baby to be remembered on this tree, please complete the Memory Tree application form.
Chaplaincy memorial book
Please contact the chaplaincy service for information nhsgrampian.org/service-hub/spiritual-care/hospital-chaplains/
MISS Northern Stars
Choose a “Northern Star” on the MISS website and write a short message to your baby.
Pre-24 weeks certification and memorial book of pregnancy loss and baby loss
You can apply for a free commemorative certificate that is a copy of the information recorded in the Memorial Book held by the National Records of Scotland.
There is no legal requirement for you to record your loss before 24 weeks. It is entirely your own personal choice and you might want some time to think about it.
Certification of pregnancy and baby loss prior to 24 weeks: leaflet – gov.scot (www.gov.scot)
Memorial gardens
MISS, Aberdeen SANDS & Aberdeen City Council ‘Forget Me Not’ Garden, Hazlehead Crematorium, Aberdeen
Aberdeen SANDS & Aberdeen City Council Hazlehead Baby Garden at Hazlehead Cemetery, Aberdeen
MISS, Aberdeen SANDS & The Archie Foundation, The Butterfly Memorial Garden Aberdeen Funeral Directors, Woodside, Great Northern Road If you would like to order a decoration for this garden please complete this form
Banff & Buchan SANDS Garden, Aden Country Park, Mintlaw, Peterhead
Spiritual Care
The Spiritual care team are available to offer a baby blessing, either religious or non-religious, if wished. The ward staff can help facilitate this for you.
Spiritual care recognises that our beliefs, values, and understanding of life can help us cope at times of illness, change, or bereavement.
The NHS Grampian hospital chaplains are here to listen, support, celebrate, comfort and pray in complete confidence, no matter what a person’s faith or beliefs.
Spiritual care is available for patients, their family and loved ones, as well as to staff and volunteers. Contact details and more information can be found here Hospital Chaplains (nhsgrampian.org)
Local Support Groups, Library and Podcast
SANDS Aberdeen (including Moray and Aberdeenshire) offer a wide variety of support including face to face, telephone, online, email, text and a library Aberdeen SANDS | Get Support (aberdeen-sands.org)
MISS provides various platforms of support including hybrid groups and 1:1s, telephone service, packs and a podcast. For more details visit Miss_Support | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree or Landing Page | Miss – Aberdeen (miss-support.org.uk)
Baby Loss Stories
Some find comfort in reading and listening to stories from other bereaved families. Although everyone’s experiences are different and entirely personal. You may find some of your feelings are validated by others who have experienced the loss of a baby.
Stories from local bereaved families
You can watch and read more stories here:
Baby loss stories | Tommy’s (tommys.org)
Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Stories – The Miscarriage Association
You can also find a collection of stories in various books such as:
Loving You From Here – SANDs
Ask Me His Name – Elle Wright
Breast Care and Milk Donation After Loss
The Milk Bank Scotland RHCG – Donor Milk Bank (nhsggc.org.uk) has signed up to the Chester Milk Bank memory milk gift initiative. More information can be found here The Milk Bank at Chester
Cremation and Burial Support
The timescale for registering a stillbirth is 21 days in Scotland. Ward staff will help direct you to a funeral director in your area to assist you to make arrangements.
(Leaflet coming soon)
Help with funeral costs may be available from:
Social Security Scotland.
Phone: 08001822222
Website: www.mygov.scot/benefits/funeral-support
https://moneyhelper.apsmos.com/ViewProduct.html?sp=Senglatemiscarriagestillbirthneonataldeath-398
More Resources For Support
* = support under 24 weeks # = support over 24 weeks ** = both under and over 24 weeks
- Aberdeen SANDS **
- ARCHIE Child Bereavement Service #
- Aching Arms – the charity bringing comfort after baby loss **
- Antenatal Results and Choices (ARC) – non-directive information and support before, during and after antenatal screening (arc-uk.org) **
- For Bereaved Parents & Families – Baby Loss Awareness Week (babyloss-awareness.org) **
- Baby Loss Retreat | Supporting Bereaved Families | Scotland **
- Bereavement Care Pathways **
- Bereavement | Bliss #
- When your baby dies | Child Bereavement UK#
- The Compassionate Friends | For bereaved parents (tcf.org.uk)#
- The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust – Support For You And Your Loved Ones*
- Grampian Child Bereavement Network (gcbn.org.uk)#
- Held In Our Hearts – Providing baby loss counselling and support**
- The Lullaby Trust – Safer sleep for babies, Support for families#
- The Miscarriage Association: Pregnancy Loss Information & Support*
- Miss Support | Instagram, Facebook | Linktree*
- Sands | Saving babies’ lives. Supporting bereaved families.**
- Our Support Services – Scottish Cot Death Trust#
- Teddy’s Wish Baby Loss Charity (teddyswish.org)#
- Grief Directory #
- Saving babies’ lives – Charity for Babies | Tommy’s (tommys.org)#
- Twins Trust #
Please note, not all the above provide individual support within the Grampian area but you may still find the websites helpful